Now I Love White Chocolate

A lighthearted story about transformation, during the time of Coronavirus.

Photo by Jasmine Waheed on Unsplash

Please refer to my notes at the bottom of this article, to understand my context in writing this article.

I am changing

I have awoken every morning, this past month, feeling like there is no going back to “normal”. I feel this way not just in regard to the external world, I feel something inside of me has changed.

Kind of like I moved to a mysterious, exciting city, sight unseen, and I am stuck at a dock waiting for a mystery shipment, along with a container filled with all my old belongings.

There is an excitement to jump into this new place I call home, while also feeling stripped bare, free, longing, uncertain, and grieving. I wait for my mystery shipment with great anticipation, while also somehow obligatorily waiting for the belongings I only feel mildly attached to now. I am settling further into the reality that life has changed forever, and what, whom, and where I thought was relevant in my old home, is now no longer so.

I don’t need much of what I thought I needed, and I am also not the person I thought I was, given that so much of who I was, was just contextual.

White chocolate is now my friend