I have spent a considerable amount of time engaging in this conversation with you. It is amazing how completely stubborn men can be about acknowledging they benefit from male privilege.

The logic I see you using is that because you have been a victim of oppression in your life, as well as a victim of violence by women, you can’t possibly be privileged and an oppressor, or someone who is guilty of incognizant sexism or violence/aggression. That you cannot have privilege as a male. And that to admit to having this privilege and behaving in ways that are harmful to women, you are somehow giving up your power and becoming a “slave”.

It is interesting you can group Black people into a group that gets victimized and oppressed, and even acknowledge their history, yet do not grant this same permission to women, and claim that to group others (particularly men) is wrong, blaming, or misguided.

It is as if you don’t understand the history that women have gone through, alongside other oppressed groups. Or, perhaps you think oppression of women ended with the times of 2nd Wave Feminism? Instead it seem you pick and choose reading feminist literature in order to refurbish your sexist views. It isn’t just that there are bad guys out there, and we women just have to deal with shitty men who do shitty things to us, it is MUCH larger than this. But, I suppose because you have trauma with women being violent towards you, this negates what women as a group experience, on a daily basis, as a part of the fabric of existence?! You sound just as clueless as the economically poor, disadvantaged White men (who are oppressed via class and socio-economic status) claim that they can’t possibly be oppressors of women or people of color, or other groups, because they are poor and have had to struggle in their life… You are literally using this same logic.

If you want to see me as just blaming, great. Go ahead. I am just a shithead lady who is here being mean to you, blaming you, and hurting your feelings, saying things that in your mind, make me out to be saying women can’t be perpretrators of violence, and are only angelic. Because to you, I am saying if you as a man are implicated in oppressing or violating women, women are not at fault for any of their actions, ever. That somehow this article erases the trauma you have experienced at the hands of individual women. BOTH YOUR TRAUMA AND WHAT I AM WRITING ABOUT IN THIS ARTICLE EXITS.

This black and white thinking is getting really tiring to attempt to correct.

Coach. Psychologist. Writing about new perspectives, love, relationships, Narcissism, healing, transformation, & culture. www.avapommerenkphd.com

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