Dr. Ava Pommerenk
2 min readSep 10, 2019

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Hello Lauren,

I believe we all pick up traits from Narcissistic caregivers. We then need to unlearn them. I also believe we all have the potential to (re)act based on fear and ignorance, and end up hurting others. Being an Empath, in the context of this article, doesn’t mean you are not capable of hurting people.

Having said this, I think it is always a good idea to critically question our intentions, and why we say or do things. Whether a person is an Empath or Narcissist, or fits under any other label or category, at the end of the day, if we are empowered, and able to be courageous, authentic, honest, and accountable, this is what creates the best outcomes in each individual’s relationships, and overall, life.

Just drop any label, and ask yourself wherever you are defaulting to fear, blame, projection, denial, ignorance, or hiding, in your life. All you need to do is start there, in regard to making changes. If there are Narcissistic traits you picked up from your mother, doing this will cause those traits to begin to melt away.

If you are truly worried about Narcissism guiding you, you could also open yourself to feedback, advice, and transformational work with a therapist or coach, who can help you stay on course, and remain truly honest and accountable.

This was my long-winded answer to say, there is hope for you! One step at a time. This process of healing and learning to be our best self, takes time.

I am glad you wrote in here. I am sure others have your same question.

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Dr. Ava Pommerenk
Dr. Ava Pommerenk

Written by Dr. Ava Pommerenk

Coach. Psychologist. Writing about new perspectives, love, relationships, Narcissism, healing, transformation, & culture. www.avapommerenkphd.com

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