Hello Casparov,

Relationships are hard for most of us, and I would say many of us, whether we are willing to admit it or not, have a lot of attachment trauma.

I understand we all have a tendency to be selfish, for different reasons. I also understand that Narcissism is learned, and that many of us do suffer from it, to a certain degree.

It is wonderful you are doing the work to heal and have greater integrity. AND, this article was written to highlight people who are severely lacking in empathy and are rather high on the Narcissism scale. It also spotlights people who are saying sorry, not because they intend to heal and are actually doing the work, but instead people who say sorry as a way to manipulate and exploit others.

I don't at all think our imperfections or tendency to enact our traumas on each other is a reason we are unworthy of relationship, or that someone should leave us because of this. I think many of us do very much struggle in relationship, and repeat the same mistakes (or harmful behaviors) over and over again. But, it is the empathy, humility, and the earnest effort to repair, that makes the biggest difference.

I applaud you for how hard you are working on yourself, and for the strength and devotion you and your husband have with each other.

Coach. Psychologist. Writing about new perspectives, love, relationships, Narcissism, healing, transformation, & culture. www.avapommerenkphd.com

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