Avoid A Dating Headache: Eliminate Those Who Use These Three Types Of Mixed Signals

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  1. If the person makes it seem as though they don’t even like you, yet also expresses how strongly interested they are in you. This type of mixed signal, is very confusing. It is also one of the easiest to spot, in even as early as the first week of dating. A certain amount of ambivalence is normal. Sometimes a person may come across as hot for you, and then later, cool off. This is normal, to a certain degree. However, it is important to notice if you feel the simultaneous experience, within the same meeting, that this person doesn’t like you, while also saying how interested they are. In other words, if someone is both hot and cold at the same time, this is something to pay close attention to. Someone like this likely wants power over you, because they feel insecure. If they are to reel you in with expressing interest toward you, while also getting you in the position where you are feeling insecure and seeking approval from them, they have found the perfect person to manipulate.
  2. If the person actively shares about their fantasy with two being together forever and building a family, but then also claims they can’t give you anything you need or be accountable to you, because you have not passed a test, or met their standards yet. This is also a signal of ambivalence, which is normal. However, this person is also showing you they are not willing to remain accountable for their ambivalence, as well as them building an attachment with you. This is normally the type of person who wants to act like partners only when it serves them, while refusing to label the relationship, or reciprocate what you have been giving them. This is a signal of someone who has severe trust issues, and is also rather entitled. They may also be seeking to have power over you, by keeping you hooked into this future promise of a fantasy, while not delivering on what might be needed in the here and now, for the relationship to ever become this fantasy. This is a tactic often used by Narcissists for the purpose of hoovering, later on in the relationship. They will then use the fact that you are upset with them because you are getting these mixed signals, as a reason why you haven’t sufficiently passed the tests, or met their standards. They also use your anger as the reason they have trust issues, and they don’t owe it to you to become more accountable or to give you the fantasy they keep painting for you.

Coach. Psychologist. Writing about new perspectives, love, relationships, Narcissism, healing, transformation, & culture. www.avapommerenkphd.com

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